Lucid Waking

Archive for April 1st, 2009

Report on Artidae totalus

Specimen: Artidae totalus

This species Artidae totalus is best known for its strange behavior. While their digestive, reproductive, respiratory, and skeletal systems are the same as other mammals, they seem to function fully with less sleep than other creatures in their genus. Their mental capacity is astounding as they can create works of art seemingly at the same time. They are very rare, as they cannot run very fast or fight very well and are often eaten. Their sole advantage is that they have very creative camouflage and can adapt to many situations.

Artidae totalus mostly eat Raman, or other instant foods, although not exclusively. Often their muscles are more limber than many in the Artidae family except for the Artidae dancerus, with which they are equal. They have exceptionally good hearing, proprioception, and visual senses. They have been known to stare at blank pages for hours at a time, which is a strange habit whose significance is yet to be explained. Experiments have shown that they can also make sense of random black dots and lines on a piece of paper.

These creatures are often hard to find as they are never sitting still unless it is in the wee hours of the morning when they can be found staring at various objects in their habitat. These creatures have been seen with various energy drinks and Coke products. They associate with others, but not for long periods of time. They meet and associate with many others of their kind, but often only a few for short periods of time. Most often they have interesting fashion and own a pea coat.

Further research needs to be done to determine whether or not these creatures can be tamed, although when we catch one, it is difficult to keep.