Lucid Waking

Archive for February, 2008

Give Me a Kiss

Kisses.
How can I define thee?
With Shakespeare or poetry?
My own mix of words can only do
To describe you:
You’re sweet,
Divine,
A quick thought if short on time.
But that’s not very satisfying.
Perfect pick-me-up on a rainy day,
Sometimes scarce and far away.
You can’t have just one.
They’re little bits of love.
Chocolaty goodness wrapped in foil.
Kisses.

The Raven and the Swan: Devin

        Devin walked into the bar as silent as a shadow and took a seat at a table next to a window farther along the wall by the door. The people here did not look intimidating and those who could cause trouble were occupied in the opposite corner in a drinking contest. A few people glanced at his presence, but went back to talking to their companions. Just like the gatekeeper had said, there were many mercenaries at the counter showing off their abilities to catch the eyes of commoners. He ordered a drink when asked, but kept his hood up risking whether he would appear conspicuous or not.
         “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in?” a woman with her blond hair pulled up in a bun sat down in the seat across from Devin. She smiled revealing pointy eye-teeth, which accentuated her pointed ears. One of her eyes was hazel with flecks of gold, the other so bright a blue it was almost white. “Or shall I say the devil himself?”
         “Good evening, Miss Stella.”
         “Quite some manners this evening,” she motioned for him to follow her to a table within a circular alcove in the corner. Once he had sat down, she pulled the curtain shut around the alcove and sat down again.
         “What do you need?”
         “I want to know about Munus.”
         “There’s quite a bit going on,” she said leaning back in her chair. “How about fifty gold? That’s enough for any questions you might have as well as full background on the town.”
         “That’s a ridiculous price.”
         “Well, knowledge isn’t cheap.”
         He put down a bag of gold on the table. “Only because I can trust you and only because no one else would know as much.”
         She smiled and blushed, emptying the bag on the table and counting it. Once she had reached fifty, she returned them to the bag and with a snap of her fingers made the bag disappear.
         “Let’s start at the beginning shall we? Munus started out as a small village in the middle of two mountain ranges: Helios and Lunos. A road runs through the path between them and the town blossoms around the main road. There are even a few houses and businesses on plateaus in mountains. Farms are practically non-existent, but you can find a few as you get closer to the city. They pay a lot for guards to take in their wares into town, by the way.
         “The government started with the town’s inn keeper as he was the one to see all of the visitors to the small town. In a way, this hasn’t changed. They decided on a monarchy and made an entire palace the town’s central inn. There are two others, but they’re mostly seedy taverns set up for…well.
         “Rumor has it that the current king was disrespectful to a pseudo-god and was given a curse: he would have two children complete opposites of each other. Neither would be set to rule or wish to continue the kingdom and thus the town would fail. The only way to break the curse was for one of the daughters to fall in love. Seems simple, but the pseudo-god designed it so that one child would be enamored of his or her reflection and the other would be ashamed of it. This didn’t mean one was ugly or not, just that the one who would never look at him or herself in a mirror would need to step outside and fall in love.
         “So we come to the current political situation: suitors for the two lovely daughters of King Nicolas. The vain one is Gwendolyn. She’s quite a lazy one and very…how shall I put it…loose. The bright one is Carey. There are very few people looking for her since she has a bit of a reputation of being a shrew. When you get there, you’ll find out who’s who.”
         The woman smiled. “I hear Carey’s quite a pretty girl. Are you thinking of courting her?” Her voice had become harsher all of a sudden, but her expression still remained light and her stance like she was in charge.
         “I’m not paying you to ask questions,” Devin said.
         The woman smiled. “Yes, then.”
         Devin decided not to answer. The truth of the matter was that he was hired to assist a government coup, but he was given complete confidentiality and if his informant wanted to lead herself on the wrong path, it was better that way. “What should I expect on the way there?”
         “The usual little creatures. Nothing you can’t handle.”
         “Is the curse foremost on everyone’s mind?”
         “Pretty much. The young men are involved in courting the princess; the king wants and end to his curse so he’s set up a reward for marrying the other daughter, only she’s turned it into a contest. Security is a bit lax right now, you’d want to be careful for pick pockets.”
         “Any one I should see if I’m there?”
         “We don’t have anyone stationed there,” she said. “Too risky right now and there’s really no reason. King Nicolas has everything public.”
        “Do you have a map with you?”
        “Do you want to spend more gold? You can just find a cheap one at a merchant stand.”
        “Do not try to fool me, Stella,” Devin said leaning forward. “Your guild has the most precise maps around.”
        “They take more time to make than you think.”
        “I’ll do without, then.”
        “Everything is very geometric. It shouldn’t be too hard to get around.”
        “Is the sewer system the same way?”
         “Goodness, why would you want to know that?”
        “Remember what I said about questions.”
        She sighed. “There is a complete underground road system under the regular streets in case of emergencies. The sewers are under that. No one gets underground without a key. No one has a key if they’re not royalty. Simple as that. And I’m not giving you the map.”
        He laughed. “We established that already.”
        She blushed. “Anything else?”
        “I think not.”
        She stood up and opened the curtain. She took a couple steps and stopped before turning around to face him again. She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and blushed again. She gave him a look that seemed tired but she smiled softly and handed him a fold of paper.
        “It wasn’t doing very good in my pocket anyway,” she whispered before turning quickly to walk away.
Devin opened it and examined the lines. The city map looked like large compass rose with the road moving straight through it. The castle sat just west of the road and consisted of many guesthouses apart from the main building.
        “Alia,” he whispered. The buildings faded to a series of passages and chambers in a perfect grid. The king’s treasury was under the castle and a few basements lead to other places. He repeated the word again and the map changed to an underground sewer system with various points marked off on the map. As far as he could tell, there were two paths, presumably one for clean water one for waste. He closed the map and tucked it into a belt pouch.
        He looked around again. People were still laughing and enjoying the conversation. The drinking contest in the corner ended with loud cheering as money changed hands to grumbling. He took a sip of ale. He would leave at dawn. He was already a couple days late.

Mia’s Journey

        The wind rustled the trees gently before dying down again. The leaves reflected the golden sun creating an iridescent green umbrella of the canopy and Moss covered the trees like a loving blanket in their long naps in the sun. The forest sighed again as the wind rustled the leaves and needles. The main clearing of the forest was a large turquoise lake pressing the trees away from the glowing center. The water was the sun’s mirror at high noon; presenting the vain celestial body it’s reflection for only an hour before the sun went off for better things to do. At midnight, the water reflected the moon for only an hour before the moon, too, got tired of its round reflection and went off for dawn.
         At the time that the sun was overhead looking at its reflection, a steamy smell would overcome the area surrounding the lake. The fish would take up their dance to avoid the hot water before diving down again to save their lives from air and the predators. Birds would swoop down in an equally tantalizing dance. The few fish that managed to leap out of talons stayed by the edge of the lake where the shade of the trees managed to keep the water cooler.
         Mia took the shaft of her spear and set out for the water. She knew that it was time as the sun just barely peaked its head over the edge of the lake. Her panther familiar, Abhay, lurked beside her, ever watchful of the petty fish and birds. Brushing her auburn hair out of her dark eyes, Mia crouched down under the low pine trees and waited.
         The flash of gold on the water reflected off the green scales of the fish flipping in the air. A large copper bird swooped and the spear went flying into the air catching the avian in the heart. There was a loud splash as the bird fell, disrupting the mirror of the lake. Caws broke the splashing, but the fish continued.
         “Come on,” Mia yelled to Abhay as she hit the ground running towards the lake. She dove in and under, keeping her eye on the bird and swimming as fast as she could just barely reaching her pike shaft and praying, pulled it upward. Abhay was busy with the fish on the edge of the water batting them up and snapping their spines in his jaws.
         Finally the sun left the morbid scene and sped away leaving the water a dark turquoise again. She gathered up the fish in her sack on her belt and tossed one to Abhay.
         “Good work,” she said and headed off with the bird and catch of fish.
         The village was an hour walk away and it was cool and buggy by the time they got there. The sun was mango orange just above the horizon line and the sky above was clear navy blue. Insects buzzed around her head as the last few birds sped through the camp, their mouths open for dinner. Mia walked inside the communal hunter’s tent and dropped off her load. The fire was lit in the middle of the tent partly to burn the skin and bones of the animals they had started cleaning and partly for light.
         “You got quite a good catch,” her mother said taking a fish from the sack and chopping off its head with a loud clunk.
         “Thank Orya.”
         Her mother smiled. “Mia, I need to bring up the marriage again…”
         “Mother, I said no.”
         “And this time, no isn’t an option. Your father was tired of waiting and they placed an even larger offer on the plate. I had no say in any of this, but you’re going to leave tomorrow morning.”
         “You realize what they do to Ochres. I’ll probably die by evening.”
         “The chief’s family seemed adamant against it. Give the boy a chance.”
         “He’s a boy. And their women weave. I would never fit in.”
         “I think you should go get ready for the morning.”
         Mia knew she had no choice and left the tent for her own. The village was starting the bonfire in the middle of the camp. The smoke was reaching with enticing fingers to dark blue sky and seducing the moon to shine on the clearing between the black trees. The birds were asleep and the only noise was the crackle of wood and fire. Mia sat down next to the flame, letting the wave of heat relax her muscles and warm her fingers. Abhay sat next to her, purring softly.
         “We’re being sent away,” Mia said to the black cat in the darkness. The eyes flickered in the firelight, but the rest of him was invisible with the landscape.
         “It’s not that they don’t want us, but we knew I couldn’t stay unmarried forever. I had just wanted it to be a local man.”
         Abhay put his chin on her knee.
         “I know Jack and I had hopes; he even made his familiar a panther like you, but he left a long time ago…”
         “You really shouldn’t talk to yourself,” a woman said behind Mia’s back. The woman sat down on the opposite side from Abhay and put her head on Mia’s shoulder. The firelight bathed the woman’s foreign face and light straw-colored hair in orange, but her cloak absorbed the light.
         “I’m just worried, Igala.”
         “I wouldn’t worry about it. Going somewhere away from home is frightening, but you should trust that it will be all right.”
         “Trust who?”
         “Anyone. You’re father. Your goddess. Me. Abhay. Yourself. It’s the only thing you can do to control the situation. Just let go.”
         “I’m sorry for seeming so—”
         “If you had left your home and family before, I would accept that apology. But this is what you know and this is what you’re comfortable with. I was scared to leave Scarlet and meet someone who grew up with women who fished and hunted their whole lives. I felt like I would never fit in having lived in a city, but everyone is different and my husband didn’t mind after a while. He didn’t have any expectations of me that I couldn’t meet. It ended up being fine. It wasn’t home, but I don’t feel a strong pull to leave.”
         Abhay got up and circled behind her back, leaning against her so that she could lie back onto him. Igala stood up and after telling Mia to see her if anything else bothered her, left to one of the tents on the left side of the circle. Mia sighed.
         “I’m not talking to myself.”
         She stared at the blue sky watching the twinkling spots emerge slowly and the moon rise to a golden yellow. The smell of cooking meat wafted out of the hunter’s tent tickling her nose. She rose, sighing, and went to her small family tent where the trunk was lying across from the opening. She picked out her usual hunting clothes and taking her favorite outfit, laid it aside. The dresses were at the bottom and though she would have preferred to just look at them, she put all of them with her hunting outfit. She sorted through papers and books, clothes and costumes until all of her most loved belongings were in a separate sack next to the trunk.
         She could hear the calls outside for dinner, but she ignored them and crawled into her sleeping back. The ground vibrated under her ear echoing the celebration outside, but she rolled over and closed her eyes, pressing her conscious into her silent pillow.
        The next morning she was woken by her father shaking her shoulder. He was a tall elderly man, who spoke very little and though he should have been upset, his face was stone and unreadable. He lead her to two horses outside, one already burdened with her pack. She mounted one and motioned for Abhay to follow them as they left the village she had known her whole life.

Entrapment

Silver.
Brown.
Copper.
Gray.
The wind blows the snow
Off of the ice
In whirlwinds
Of crystalline
White.

Underneath the water is warm
Warmer than the air above
And darts of silver,
Brown, copper, gray
Are eating the plants
At the bottom of the sea.
Looking up at the sky
They find a cold ceiling
That has them trapped
In the world of water.

Should they wish to reach the sun
Or talk to the birds circling the sky,
Or to swim around people’s legs
Who are swimming in the water by shore,
The glass is constantly in their way
Blocking the blue of the sky
That they could see all summer long.

I am trapped inside my house.
And I look at the water
From a window pane with snow.
The flowers are gone:
Dried up fragile sticks
Cracked from the weight of frozen water.

The fish and I can no longer look
At the sun streaming,
Or at the clouds above.
Now its just opaque
White.
Glass that they could touch.
Opaque white that I can touch.
Right outside my window.
It’s just
Silver.
Gray.
And White.

The Party

        Nephele had never seen such a fantastic spectacle in all her life. Vibrant colored silk flew in different directions as women spun with their graceful partners across the dance floor. Food was piled high on a long table the center of which stood a swan made of ice. Candles flickered on the ends of the table dripping gold wax into the gold candelabras. The music floated on the air and seemed to never end as the people flashed past her. The people she knew seemed unfamiliar as masks were held in people’s hands or obscured faces but they could do nothing to hide the smiles.
         She stepped in to the room hoping to blend into all of the colors. But her darker skin deceived her again. A few people stared, but she was not enough to dim the overall spirit of the room. She watched the couples dancing something she had never learned, nervously keeping to the edge of the room.
         “May I have this dance?” the baron’s son asked her bowing deeply. She curtsied partly to hide her blushing. He was tall with light skin and brown hair. She wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be, but he looked ravishing in green with a gold mask. She took his hand and went flying off. The evening sped off into the night as she danced with the gentlemen she knew well.
         She could hardly believe how lucky she was to be brought into the baron’s care after her parents had been killed in a coup. For the longest time she had trouble shaking images of her cousin’s guards killing her parents and almost getting her when her cousin had pity on her and banished her to the west. Nephele was elated the whole night now that she had no time to think about her parents. At the end of the evening, her new parents announced that she was going to be adopted to polite applause from their audience. She felt a little embarrassed, but she was so flushed from the excitement of being accepted, it washed away.
         Nina watched in the corner with mock enthusiasm. The little foreigner was getting much too much attention for her liking. But a baron’s daughter was much better than a king’s and Nina could easily get into the royal family from where she was in accordance to the baron’s son. At least now that they were siblings she didn’t need to worry about whether or not they would get married. It would seem foolish for him to do so.
         “Nina, what’s on your mind?” the baron’s son came up behind her, surprising her but she took the opportunity to take the attention away from the little new comer on stage.
         “Nathan…I’m just worried about her,” she said, “it’s hard coming from where she’s from. There will be those who won’t accept her and I hope she’ll be all right.”
         “I’m sure she will. Especially with friends like you and me.”
         Nina flinched but smiled. The festivities had started again, but now a few mutters passed between dance partners. Nephele looked ecstatic, but she was across the room from where Nina was at the moment.
         “Shall we dance?” Nathan asked extending his hand.
         Nina took it with a smile and went spinning off in her red silk into the crowd.

Xia-Ju’s Speech

        "Welcome to the twenty-first annual National High School Dean’s Association Conference. Our first speaker this week is going to present an interesting view on the school system. She comes to us from Galaxy VII and is a well-known speaker throughout the globe on various aspects of improving life. Please welcome Xia-Ju with a warm round of applause."
        Xia-Ju took the podium and cleared her throat. She had slanted silver eyes and lavender skin that glittered in the lights. She dressed conservatively but still seemed nervous about something. As soon as she spoke, the nervous awkwardness washed away.
        "Utopia. It is what you strive for, yes? On my planet, we live helping ourselves, sharing things when necessary, knowing very little famine and war, knowing no fear or hate that cannot be resolved without words. And yet, your people live in constant fear, always fighting, always hating, living in despair and hating yourself and others, constantly looking towards the future and worrying about it. Your problem: allowing set individuals to be in charge and make decisions involving millions. And when no one agrees, the people in charge do whatever they want simply because they are in charge.
         "It seems that the answer to your unhappiness is to get rid of the person in charge. And countless centuries of your people’s existence has shown us that you will just elect another person who will take charge and make decisions for you in regards to the world. We do not do that and look at where we live. Your vision of Utopia is our version of reality. The solution: anarchy.
         "I realize that leaving young adult humans in charge for their own can be dangerous. The fears are that they do not     know what they are doing and total destruction will follow their wake. They make poor decisions, act on impulse, and diffuse responsibility. But they do this even under your rule. Can you deny it? You spend your lives enforcing common sense rules for children who you know do not follow them. You come up with new systems for them in order to stop them going around the rules and regardless they do.
        "Just stop putting forth the effort. Studies of your societies have shown that it does not work. And look at it: you still have wars, you still have famine, you do not make better people by enforcing rule.
         "We can agree at this point that enforcing your rule helps no one. Your goal is to help, so do something constructive. Get rid of government all together! If you, as a human, know to be compassionate, punctual, and responsible, then why do you need rules to force you to be these things? Why do you need someone enforcing laws that reinstate what you know to be good? The government is only oppressing you and causing rebellion. The prime reason young adult humans state of their rebellious nature, is that they feel the adult world closing in on them. They are not free to express themselves and often voice displeasure, causing them to be further oppressed as well as quieted. Without oppression, they will be able to figure things out on their own and learn the correct way to act and get along through their instinct. For centuries your people have claimed that your nature is good. Prove it.
         "Countless amounts of money and resources go towards a government that could be used for the people. Imagine how much better your world would be if you just had the money or food or supplies to build houses for humans who are starving. Government causes people to rebel when they find a law that they do not like. Imagine how many lives you can save by stopping useless bloodshed. Government makes people angry in the things they cannot change; the authority they have to answer to though they don’t want to. Imagine how much happier your planet would be without all of the pent up frustration that ends up hurting others. You can see on a large scale, government does no good.
         "Look at the history of your own country. Name a single conflict that did not occur because of a government? I cannot; how can you? By abolishing it, you assure yourself, as well as other galactic life forms, safety, happiness, and peace. Let yourself be who you are naturally. If you stand for liberty and freedom, why do you confine yourself? It is an oxymoron that you do not seem to see.
         "Anarchy is a very strong word in your culture, but it is a very good thing. You want an end to hunger, war, and sadness… well, here is your answer. By abolishing government all together, you can help society much better than enforcing rules. Let those in your schools who want to learn, learn, and those who don’t, suffer because of their own doing. If they are sorry later, they can begin anew. Anarchy lets you live each day to your fullest without hanging records over your head and stopping your opportunities. I can see that this is already a positive outcome. No glass ceiling, as the phrase is, to stop you and your children.
         "Do not be afraid of anarchy or change. Both are good and help things grow. If a tree never changed, you would never be able to taste the fruit it offered. Let things go the way they will and learn from yourself and from each other. Do not play within a system, play without one.
        "Be happier, let your children prosper, and do away with all of your problems. Your race will live longer if you do and you can accomplish many things without being restricted. Strive for the Utopia you want. It can be on Earth if you try. You just have to get rid of the ropes that bind you, ropes in the form of government.
         "Thank you.

The Outcasts

        “If you want a map, you’re going to have to talk to Umétican. And get a place to sleep before 10 o’clock.”
         “Thank you.”
         Eli put his hands in his pocket and started out of the shop towards the colorful center of the city. The shops were lit by neon signs, but their windows were dark and filled with merchandise. Bars over bars on the inside of the glass blocked the doors and windows from the outside world. Papers flew across the street and over the sidewalk, skidding over the concrete leaving greasy lines of butter and oil. Colorful billboards lit the fork in the road illuminating the orange sky to seem like daytime. Humanoid creatures bustled past; vehicles honked and zoomed with little whizzes past archaic stoplights. A human girl was leaned against the steel wall of a building and she followed Eli as he passed through the smoke of a cigarette. He shoved his hands farther into his pockets and continued walking.
         The street’s fork caved in upon itself leaving a boat-shaped island in the middle of two streets. The main road continued forward making another curve around a large steel building lost in the sky. Eli pulled his jacket closer to him against the non-existent cold and pushed forward through the stream of creatures to the door of the building. A man pulled a dollar out of his cell-phone as he passed and handed it to a coffee vendor from the window of the shop. The smell of coffee beans filled the air but stopped one Eli entered the skyscraper.
Metal detectors were the first obstacle, but they didn’t go off. Eli breathed a sigh of relief. The elevator was the second as the map next to it was impossible to decipher. After staring at it for several minutes, he managed to find the name he was looking for and pressed the button. The third came when he found the door was locked. He knocked but no one answered.
         “Umétican leaves at six,” a maroon voice said behind him. “What do you need?”
         “A map, please,” Eli said hoarsely facing a dark skinned woman who has spoken to him. Her hair was pulled back tightly and she was dressed in old-fashioned business suit with pointed high-heeled shoes. She smiled warmly.
         “Having trouble finding things?”
         Eli wasn’t sure whether he should answer or not. She stood there anticipating something before pulling out a key and inserting it into the lock. The door swung open.
         “Wait here,” she said closing the door behind her. Eli was left in the hall. He looked around at the black metal doors with gold plaques. “Visitor Services” the one in front of him read. He traced the letters and savored the harsh edge against his skin. It felt cold and yet the pressed edge against his skin made his fingers warm. The door flung open and he jumped back breathing to calm his hammering heart.
         “Here you go,” the woman said with a large smile handing him a folded pamphlet. “You’d better get a room quick or the hotel will close and you’ll spend the night avoiding the Resettlement Program.” She laughed.
         “Um, thank you.”
         “Don’t mention it, honey.”
         Eli smiled back at her and rushed to the elevator pressing the button in wicked speed and then pressing a random floor once he was inside just to get the doors to close. Humans were starting to scare him. It was only three weeks since he escaped the lab and he figured out why they kept him where he was. He thought it was confinement. He found out it was protection.
         He pinched his nose bridge lightly. What he had taken as lies ended up being the truth. He was there for his own good. Humans were destined to die just like him. So what if he was made just to prolong their lives? At least he would get out of the hellhole they called society and live a nicer life.
         The doors to the elevator stopped at the fifth floor and opened to a deserted dark hallway. After a moment’s hesitation, Eli got out and sat on the floor facing the elevator. He checked his watch; there wasn’t enough time to find a hotel. He laid out the map in front of him and pulled a flashlight out of his pocket. With a click of a button the paper was flooded with light. Particularly curved lines intersected streets, which also curved around islands of buildings and districts. A purple line meant something completely different from the light purple wash in the upper right corner of the paper. He scanned the legend: main streets, businesses, housing, immigrants, rivers, subways, highways, tubes all came up as different colors and symbols on the map. His head hurt.
         The elevator doors opened giving Eli a second’s notice to shut off the flashlight, but not enough time to scramble out of the way. An androgynous looking robot looked down at him on the floor and the map before crouching down to his level.
         “Hello,” it’s tenor voice echoes slightly like a soft microphone. “What are you doing here?”
         “J-just looking for a place to stay.”
         “Oh, all right then.” The robot stood up. “Technically you are not allowed, but since I do not see the harm in letting one person sleep here, you can follow me. It seems you are caught in the system.”
         “I suppose so.”
         The robot smiled. “Yes you are. This way.”
         It led Eli down the hall towards a small glass door with a silver plaque reading: “Robot Ambassador.” The door opened with a little creak into a small office with a desk and two chairs. The robot closed the door after Eli and locked it.
         “I often sleep here,” it said. “They will not bother us.”
         “Thank you,” Eli said taking a seat in a ripped leather chair by the door. “I’m called Eli.”
         “Oh, yes, names,” the robot smiled. “I forget it is a common formality with humans. I am called Exec.”
         “Pleased to meet you, Exec,” Eli said. Then after a short pause, “Begging your pardon, but I am not human,” he added with an odd sense that it was necessary.
         Exec narrowed his eyes and looked Eli up and down. “You look human. How can you not be human?”
         “I’m a clone,” Eli said.
         “Oh yes,” Exec said with a smile. “You are of another outcast race like me. Your kind is bred for spare human parts just like we fight their wars. It seems to me, friend, that we are meant to meet.”
         It was Eli’s turn to smile. “I think that’s a pleasant way of looking at things.”
         “Pleasantry is how I get through my days and nights.”
         Eli bid his companion good night and curled up as comfortably in the chair as he could. The leather creaked with even the slightest movement and the arm of the chair dug into his legs and back, but Eli had never slept better nor felt as warm and comfortable in the drafty office as he ever had in his life.

I Believe in Magic

I believe in magic.
Yes I do.
I believe in magic.
It’s so true.
I believe in magic.
That’s hard to do.
I believe in magic,
And so should you!

Love theme from Romeo and Juliet by Henry Machini

        “Don’t go running too far ahead!” my grandmother yelled to my retreating figure.
         It was my birthday. I was eight and just like every year, my grandmother and I went to the botanic gardens. I have done it every year since and every year before. We were in the English garden, one of my favorite places to be. Butterflies were gliding among the perfumed air. The sky was topaz blue cloudless. There was a soft breeze that was slightly warm rustling the flowers and leaves like a wave.
         My grandmother went over to a bench in the shade and sat down holding both of our coats in her arms. I ran over to her and sat down. The bench was freezing, and I was squirming around until by buttocks was sufficiently numb to sit still. She looked weary, but she smiled at me and sighed a little.
         “Did I ever tell you that story about Saralynne when she loses her wings?”
         “No,” I said. “And I don’t want Saralynne to lose her wings.”
         My grandmother had been telling me about Saralynne for a long time and she had become a friend to me. She was a fairy who lived in the woods not far from my house and every so often, my mom, grandmother and I would go and look for her. I never knew why I couldn’t find her.
         “I think you can hear this story without being too sad,” my grandmother said smiling. “She doesn’t get too hurt.”
         “But it’s my birthday and I don’t want her to lose her wings.”
         “It’ll happen eventually,” she said. “But if you don’t want to hear the story, I won’t tell you.”
         I watched a butterfly flutter by. “Well, now I want to know.”
         “Well, it was a day like this: bright and sunny. Saralynne was out washing her face and hands in the dew on the flowers, when she spots someone going by.”
         “Was it Iggy?” Iggy was a lightning bug she had met in some previous adventure and my second favorite character.
         “No. It was someone who wasn’t her size. It was a boy and it was the first time she had seen a real boy in her garden before.”
         “A boy?”
         “Mhmm. He hadn’t seen her, but she flew up to his shoulder and tried to get his attention. But he kept staring into the distance in front of him and didn’t notice her.”
         “Well that’s not very nice…”
         “But she was so small and he was looking intently in front of him. Finally he sat down and began to cry out of frustration. She hopped down in front of him and cleared her throat as best she could.
         “ ‘What’s wrong?’ she yelled up.
         “The boy looked down at her. ‘I’m running away,’ he said through his tears.”
         “‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ Saralynne said. ‘Why?’
         “ ‘It doesn’t matter,’ the boy said. Then perhaps realizing he was speaking to a fairy jumped a little and peered closer to her.
         “ ‘I’m Saralynne,’ Saralynne said smiling. ‘What’s your name?’
         “ ‘James,’ the boy said.
         “ ‘That’s a lovely name,’ Saralynne said. The boy smiled and blushed. ‘Perhaps I can show you to the largest tree in the grove?’
         “James agreed wholeheartedly and he spent all of his time in Saralynne’s garden with her.”
         “Grandma, you said she lost her wings,” I interjected. I used to be incredibly impatient and young enough to squirm at any more notion of love than fairy tales.
         “Ella, wait!” my Grandmother laughed. “I’ll get there. Well, eventually the boy grew up. Saralynne had learned that he was an orphan and running away from the orphanage where he was teased for being weaker than the other boys.”
         “Did he have asthma?” I asked. It was my new vocabulary word at the time.
         “Uh…yes he did. Saralynne grew up slower than humans, but she was frustrated that he was getting older while she still stayed young. One night while he was sleeping, she went to see Mother Peppermint and ask for some advice.”
         Mother Peppermint was a peppermint plant that aquired magical powers from living inside a witch’s hut and when planted outside, managed to give herself a human-like appearance. My favorite aspect is that she constantly smelled like peppermint.
         “Mother Peppermint seemed to be waiting for her. She had heard through the birds and trees that Saralynne had been spending her time with a human boy and it was only a matter of time before she came looking to be a human.”
         I gasped.
         “At first Mother Peppermint refused, but she could see that Saralynne was growing up and no longer would enjoy being a fairy. She understood that hearts were fickle, but she wanted Saralynne to by happy, so she gave her two potions: one to turn her human, and the other to restore her to being a fairy. The only problem was that the second potion did not give her wings. If she drank the first one, she could never fly again. Mother Peppermint urged her not to be brash—”
         “What does brash mean?”
         “Brash? If someone is brash, they do it too quickly. So Mother Peppermint was telling Saralynne not to make her decision too quickly. And though Saralynne did give it a little more thought, she had already decided and took very little time to take the first potion.
         “She quickly grew bigger and by the time she had blinked, she was the appropriate size. Her wings were on the ground next to her and a little saddened, she picked them up and kept them with the other potion.”
         “Grandma, that’s a sad story.”
         “But they live happily ever after and Saralynne lives a long life.”
         “But she’s not a fairy.”
         “Sometimes fairies don’t have wings. But that doesn’t make them any less precious. Someday you’ll understand.”

         “And I suppose I do understand, a bit,” she said, taking a sip of water nervously. “Sometimes you have to lose a part of you just so you can gain another. And it’s all right as long as you’re the same person and you’re happy with your decision.”
         “That’s an interesting conclusion.”
         “I always thought that’s what she meant by telling me the story,” she said. “So don’t apologize for having to quit your job to stay at home with me. Unless that won’t make you happy.”
         “I would never imply that,” he said taking her hand. “I can’t express how much happier I am you’re not upset.”
         “Of course not,” she said smiling. She glanced over at the new ring on her finger and sighed happily, squeezing his hand just a little bit.
         “What’s on your mind now, Ella?”
         “I don’t think Saralynne ever really lost her wings. She just gained new ones that no one could see.”
         “Is that what you feel like?”
         “Yes.”
         He smiled. “So do I.”

(Listen to the song)