Lucid Waking

“Not much between despair and ecstasy”

Justice and the Theif

            Brendan sat on the steps of the great cathedral, his head sitting heavily in the palm of his hand. It had been too long and he was getting bored of all the people who walked by staring at him in surprise. He moved his head to his other hand with the tinkling of chains. The door creaked behind him and a purple robed woman sat down on the steps next to him in silence. Her slender hands were neatly folded in her lap and she sat up perfectly perpendicular to her bent legs.
            “I have no doubt you know the extent of your actions,” she said calmly, her voice low so as not to attract any attention. People stopped staring at them as soon as she came out and Brendan sensed the magic aura around her. A shiver ran up his spine and he subconsciously sat up straighter.
            “Stealing from the Goddess of Justice was quite a reckless thing for you to do.” The woman pulled a set of keys from her robes and unlocked the shackles around his wrist. “I have sought guidance from my Goddess and she has given me the knowledge that you have a greater purpose than this.”
            She stood up with him, but kept perfect eye contact. He stared at her gray eyes, feeling that he was drowning in the color. She kept her stony expression, but suddenly looked down at their feet. “I have also been to told to allow you shelter in our temple for the night should you chaos
            He looked at the people passing by, momentarily forgetting that seconds ago they were staring at him. He remembered the embarrassment of his reaction by being chained up by a small, apprenticed priest. The urge to slip into the building and forget the past event was very strong and he nodded. “I’d like to accept if you wouldn’t mind.”
            The woman’s expression softened just slightly and she held open the door for him.
            “What I don’t understand,” Brendan said to her as she led him to a secondary room apart from the main hall, “is how your Goddess knows what my future is.”
            “The Goddess of Justice can sense if you are a criminal or not. If this little incident were the start of a great turmoil of other thefts, she would not have let you get away. However, she knows that you are innocent and that this particular incident was not the start of others, but a meager need to get food. Besides, justice has been served: the money was returned and you stayed quite a bit of time outside in the shackles. She trusts you and she knows that your actions will not result in more injustice.”
            Brendan nodded, but not completely comprehending what the priestess had said. “Well thank her for me,” he said, as the beauty of the shared room he was getting gradually turned into joy before sleep.
            For the first time the priestess smiled. “You should thank her yourself, you are in her halls.” The priestess closed the curtain to the room and walked toward the alter, becoming increasingly ethereal with every step. Her human form was now a pinprick of light and she floated up gracefully to the ceiling and out into heaven again.
            At midnight, Brendan approached the alter cautiously and got down on his knees to pray for thanks. He could feel guilt melt away as a new feeling of righteousness replaced it. Then deciding that he was done with his obligations snuck back into the room and fell back asleep. The Goddess of Justice smiled at him and carefully picked up the butterfly that was his prayer. She put it in the glass dome with other prayers and watched it flit around with others of its kind, its bright colors of sincerity standing out brightest of all.

Patient No. 46

            She stared at the blood on the carpet with a faint haze of ecstasy. She dropped the knife in her haze and walked away from the scene. She jumped as police sirens wailed in the distance replacing her buzz with panic. She started to run blindly past door after white door.
            Patient number 46, Shani Seften had been admitted to Fulcrum’s Asylum for her addiction. No one talked about it and she always was alone, but she figured out a way to pick the locks and she was set free again. The buzz felt so good. She pouted, disappointed that it had gone. She pulled out a hairpin and picked the lock on door number 76.
            Patient 76 was rocking back and forth in a chair in the middle of the room and staring at the floor. He didn’t look up when she came in. She easily slipped up behind him and clamped down on his throat. He kept rocking until finally he slipped off the chair. She cautiously felt around to the other side of the chair to check his pulse. She felt a strong rush of emotion as she felt nothing stirring inside him. She laughed faintly and skipped out of the room.
            “Oh, there you are!” the nurse said grabbing No. 46’s hands and leading her back to her room. “How did you manage to get out this time?”
            The nurse pushed her gently into the room and quickly shut the door. She pulled out a ring of keys and locked to door. Glancing from left to right, she chained the door shut and wrote on the chart clipped to a clipboard under her arm: Patient not ready for release. Relapse into murder addiction and needs to be chained in. No more progress.

Fire and the Art of School

Originally on December 24, 2005

            I never would have expected my element to be fire. Heck, my sign is an earth sign. Ever since mom died in the fire, I’ve hated it since. I’m even afraid of ovens, although I’d never admit to it. Father says that everyone is afraid of something; he worries every night that he may lose me like he lost mother. I love my father. He always listens and he’ll always have a shoulder to cry on. He doesn’t seem to care that the main content of my letters seem to be complaining about school and home. I only get to see him once a year around my birthday since he went away. It was our countries brilliant idea to send troops over to help the civil war in Africa. Although I highly disagree with our motives, Father says it’s best if I don’t talk about it. People are pretty much divided on the issue and he spends so much time convincing himself it’s for the good, he doesn’t want me to mess it up. It’s a fair and logical request and I’ve kept my end of the bargain for years. I try to think of it as he’s traveling to Africa and finding archeological evidence that elves and fairies lived there before us. Perhaps he’ll come back with an ancient relic that brings people up from the dead in the same condition that they were in the day before they died.
            Lilith called me yesterday and told me I was going to be sent to a boarding school for the “gifted students.” Just a bunch of B.S. if you ask me. I suppose I should give a little space up for Lilith since I spent so much space on father. Lilith is my aunt; she’s short tempered, hypocritical, and over-protective. When father’s not around she’ll complain non-stop about my manners and how father didn’t teach me well. I’ve wanted to say to her: “What the hell are you talking about? You’ve been raising me since mom died when I was eight. And I barely see dad. How could you be blaming him; it’s all your fault!” Of course with my amazing self control, I just bite my lip. That’s part of the reason I have this journal. Father sent it discreetly over from Africa, since he knows full well how much complaining my aunt would do if she found out. In fact, she’s pretty upset right now that my door is locked so I can write. She doesn’t know I’m writing, of course, but she’s complaining all the same. You’d think I’d burned the cookies I made.
            Tomorrow I’ll be sent off and hopefully I’ll have more opportunities to write without having to lock my door.

            Nina closed the smooth leather book gently and placed in under her pillow. She put the pencil back into the pencil cup and opened the door. Aunt Lilith was standing at the bottom of the stairs when she got at the end of the hall.
            Nina was expecting her aunt to go into a long-winded explanation of locking doors and manners, but she just shook her head and walked toward the kitchen. Taken aback, Nina tip-toed down the stairs and peered around the corner. Sitting at the kitchen table was a tall man with ruffled black hair and long pointy ears. He was sipping a cup of her aunt’s god-awful coffee as she came in.
            Aunt Lilith smiled. Nina noticed it made her seem much prettier. Maybe that’s what Dad meant when he said Lilith was pretty once, she thought. I never really thought about it. Maybe she gave everything up to come here. Nina shook the thought out of her head. But that doesn’t give her the right to complain.
            “Nina, this is Mr. Santonio. He’s the principal at your new school and he’s eager to speak with you,” she pulled a chair out for Nina, who then sat down. Nina watched her aunt leave the kitchen and walk up the stairs.
            “It’s a pleasure to have finally met you,” Mr. Santonio said. “Your father speaks very highly of you.”
            “My father?” Nina looked him in the eyes startled.
            “Your father recommended you for this school. Based on your past record, he did not underestimate you. But it’s important that we discuss your new power. Nina, do you know what catastrophic accidental power provokers are?”
            Nina shook her head eyeing him sideways. This man seemed alright, but how did he know her father and how did he know she had a power. And why would he care about catastrophic whatevers?
            “Don’t seem so surprised. Your father asked me to help figure out what happened to your mother at that’s what I dug up.”
            He took another sip of coffee.
            “How- Who are you?”
            He smiled. “I’m not the one you should be afraid of."

My Life

Originally published on December 23, 2005

            If you had asked Charlie what he wanted to be when he grew up, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell you he wanted to be an astronaut. In fact, we almost believed he would follow through: he took astronomy classes every chance he could and he would go to NASA.com every week. He would go to the library on Sundays and read about space and space travel for hours. If it weren’t for Charlie’s passion, I would have never gotten my homework done all through high school. Those visits to the library were a godsend to get out of the house from mom and dad’s yelling.
            Then the divorce papers came in and dad left. Mom flew into a deep depression and almost drowned herself in wine for months. My mom’s side of the family tried to come to our aid, but it didn’t help that my grandmother would just complain about what a bum my father was, and that my mother was better off without him. That’s when Charlie stopped going on NASA.com every week.
            Then we spent the weekend with dad and I thought it went well. When we came home, mom was in the hospital for an alcohol overdose. She had drunk five too many glasses and ended up passed out in the alley behind the bar. At least she didn’t try to go home. Mom was then diagnosed with alcoholism and was sent to support groups. She went over the weekends and during the week we all worked. We saw her less and less, and saw dad more and more. That’s when Charlie stopped taking astronomy classes.
            Then came the day of the draft. Dad was too old, but Charlie wasn’t. He was a freshman in high school when the draft came. The government was desperate and needed anyone. They thought if they took anyone as young as twelve years old and train them until their eighteen, we would have better soldiers and had a better chance of getting out of the war sooner. Charlie never really understood why he had to go; he just knew that he could see jail for years if he didn’t. I thought it was another Vietnam, and we most certainly didn’t need another one. That’s when Charlie stopped going to the library.
            My senior year of college was iffy; since I wasn’t going the library, my grades were slipping and I struggled to keep up with them. I felt like I was holding those plastic “soap” things where if you squeeze it to hard, the plastic rolls and it shoots the thing out of your hands. I was also losing Charlie. It was his personality and dedication was inspiring and he always had the best jokes. Now that he was just words on a paper, he was loosing his preciousness and I was losing more of my family. After Charlie left for training, dad took up smoking. By the time I was almost thirty and Charlie would be twenty-one (we still celebrated his birthdays, it was the only way I could get cake into the house without either parent telling me I didn’t need cake, it destroyed my figure), Dad was in the hospital for liver cancer. I fell back hard on my friends and somehow, I managed to get through it. I leaned heavily on them and thank them everyday for not letting go and holding me fast. I was slipping into the chasm of despair and death and I needed them to help me keep my strength; they didn’t fail me. But Dad kept getting worse. With dad in the hospital and letters of Charlie’s near-death experiences streaming in, I started taking medication for stress. I was afraid there would be no one left.
            A lot has happened between then and now, and let’s just suffice it to say, I’m married and have two beautiful twins. I’m off my anti-stress drug and am back to normal health. Charlie’s back, though he’s currently in school getting his bachelor’s in astronomy. Dad’s hung on, but is in the hospital, again. Mom is back and has been alcohol free for seven years. Everyone visits my father every Saturday as a family outing; Charlie and I will go extra times during the week and sometimes slip in during our lunch breaks. Overall, things have improved a lot. And I hope they just keep getting better.

Explanations of an Earth

           Before the Earth came into being, there was a nothing that filled the existence of every living thing. It was defined as darkness, but that was only a relative term, since no one had seen darkness before. The only thing in this darkness was thirteen glowing stones in a circle, by thirteen sleeping figures.
           The first of the thirteen woke up and took her glowing sphere out from under her head. Her stone was a garnet and shone with a proud red vibrancy. She looked at it quietly with a child-like curiosity and innocence before placing in down in the center of the circle. The garnet grew into a glowing sphere; slowly loosing it’s scarlet color as it grew in size and intensity. This she called “Sun” and named herself its keeper. One kept Sun’s rays controlled and modest, bright but not too hot, and set it spinning, more out of her playfulness than for an actual purpose. After a time, the second rose from the heat and shine of the One’s Sun. He smiled at her playful responsibility and curiosity as he picked up the stone at his feet. His stone was a deep amethyst and glowed on its own a dark purple, beside the backlit from the sun. Two smiled and threw the Amethyst into a path around Sun. It spun around and around, growing in size as it traveled. One smiled with joy at the stone circling her creation. In her distraction, Sun stopped spinning around itself; One didn’t notice and smiled at Two while watching the second creation go around the first. Soon the two got bored with it and woke up Three, who shook her head fondly at the toy they had made. She was caring and was willing to dismiss her stone to make them happy. Humoring One and Two, she picked up her aquamarine and spun it around the amethyst seven times until the blue- green stone covered it. Then she let the aquamarine calm into the stone, splashing around the surface of the amethyst. Three called this “Water” before going to sleep again, leaving One in Two’s care.
           The fourth woke up and calmly watched One and Two before gently picking up the amethyst and aventurine creation. He took his stone, a diamond, and wrapped it around the stone. Because the size of the amethyst aventurine was so large, the diamond covered it thinly. A white layer covered the entire stone, lying above the water and amethyst to create a bubble. One laughed with childish glee as Four replaced the stone on it’s way around the sun. Four called the new stone “Earth,” and watched it quietly. Five woke up after sleeping restlessly and saw Earth and Sun. She smiled at One’s joy and, having no powers herself, gave One her emerald to do as she would. Five watched One cover the rest of Two’s stone with the green. She called the covering “Plants.” Several times more the Earth went around the sun, then Five decided that Earth would do better with more color and she woke up wise Six. Six was not pleased with being woken up, but when presented with Five’s problem, Six focused on it. He decided, however, that Five’s true concern lay with how barren Earth seemed, rather than the lack of colors; he thought it was quite colorful enough. He spent the remainder of his time carving his stone into several different creatures, some with gills and some with fins. He placed them all in Three’s creation. One was even more pleased with the new creations moving about in the water and eating the plants; she squealed her joy and woke up Seven. Seven went unnoticed and she sat quietly in the corner turning her stone over and over in her hands, admiring yet jealous of One’s Sun. Her stone, a ruby, started getting hotter and harder to handle, but Seven didn’t notice. No one realized she was there until Eight woke up and asked her what she was doing. Seven, surprised, dropped her stone and burned Eight’s foot, causing a sickly sweet smell to fill the air. She picked it up again, secretly amused, calling it “Fire” and saved it for herself. Seeing the pain that Fire caused Eight, One shrugged at them and turned to watch the Earth go around the Sun. Eight noticed One’s interest in the creatures on Earth and proceeded to carve large and small animals out of his stone peridot and gave them to One to set on the Earth. One eagerly took them and gave some to Two and Four to help place. Nine woke up as Eight continued to carve and One, Two, and Four were placing the animals around the Earth. Nine had an idea and carved from her sapphire stone winged animals with beaks. She tapped Four on the shoulder when she was done and handed him her creations, which she called “Birds.”
           Five mused in the background, trying to figure out what she thought was wrong with Earth; She woke Ten and asked him. He crushed his stone and handed it to her telling her to scatter the pieces. She did so, and the pieces turned into colored plants, which she called “Flowers.” Eleven woke up as Ten went back to sleep, and created Tall plants from amber, which she called “Trees.” Twelve woke up and created “Moon,” from his moonstone, and sent it spinning around Earth.
           At last, Thirteen woke up and saw the Earth and it’s creatures; She saw both day and night and the harmony in which the plants and animals lived. She decided to live on the Earth and rule it with her brothers and sisters. Deep in her heart she felt something was missing. She decided not to use her stone of Zircon, but instead took pieces of adamantine coal and clay to fashion what she called “Humans.”
           “These,” she said, “will be the caretakers of the Earth and they will treat it as if they had created it.”
           But the humans didn’t care for the animals and thought only of themselves; they discovered what the Earth had to offer and wanted it for their own. Thirteen tried to show the humans the good things about Earth and why it was better if everyone shared. This worked and soon they found all the beautiful things on Earth.
           Seven was sitting playing with her creation; “Fire,” when she saw two humans sitting on a rock holding hands and watching the fish in the water. Seven snickered at them and decided to test these curious creatures. Not seeing Thirteen in sight, Seven threw a piece of her fire down on one of the humans. A sickly sweet smell, like the smell that came from Eight, rose into the air. Seven smiled and threw a little down for the other human.
           The people near by saw the fire kill their friends, but they also wondered whether it would keep them warm at night as well and allow easier hunting. And so, they learned how to create fire and use it. Seven was angry that the humans had learned about her toy, and tried to stop her secret from getting out. She threw down the rest of her stone of fire and let the winds scatter it across the grass creating a sea of fire. Thirteen noticed the fire chasing her humans and took the humans in the palm of her hand to heaven, where they stayed until the fire had died down at the water. Furious at Seven, the remaining twelve cast her down into a tree deep within a forest in the middle of the world, made it invisible so that no human could discover where it was and free her. Five, Six, Eight, Ten, and Eleven set to work again trying to repair the things that were destroyed; but none of it was the same for they didn’t have any more of their stones left and had very little resources in which to create the plants and animals again. When everything was somewhat the way it was, humans were placed on the earth again. The Twelve lay down to sleep and let the humans rule the world the way they wished.

Snake Lies

            The figure stepped out of the blue night frosted haze as a ghost. The light from the street lamps backlit it as it walked down the street, a solid dark mass walking at a brisk pace. It started to snow as the clock struck eleven.
            “You’re late,” she said with annoyance as he walked in. She didn’t look up from her paperwork.
            “Excuse me,” he said sarcastically taking his coat off and tossing it onto an armchair. He rustled the snow out of his black hair casually faced the desk; leaning back on his heals as he stood.
            She smiled stiffly. “The company is done dealing with your antics. They are willing to fire you on fair grounds. What do you have to say in your defense?”
            He stared warily at the vase of flowers on her desk. The bright fusia roses were not something he had ever seen during the summer, let alone in the middle of December. “You aren’t going to find anyone as quiet as me,” he said boldly and turning to sit down on the couch, “I’ve been the cleanest in my work. Meticulous if you dare.”
            There was a soft clicking noise of clockwork turning. He suppressed his nerves and watched the roses rustle. He glanced at the clock and watched the second hand as he waited.
            “They don’t think that’s good enough.”
            “Ah,” he said pointing his finger at the ceiling emphatically, “but they don’t disagree.”
            “You’re straying from the point!” She sat up and looked at him with her snake-like gold eyes. Her slit pupils pulled tighter together and her forked tongue slipped out of her lips in the split second of anger. She casually tucked a piece of perfectly straight auburn hair behind her ear and stood up to the opposite side of the desk. “The company wants more from you. You have three days to prove your worth or you’ll be fired…like the rest.”
            He shuddered involuntarily, but he tried to keep his nonchalant composure. He leaned back farther into the cushions until his head was midway down the back. His neck quietly cracked, but he kept his position in deliberate contrast to her stiff straight one.
           “They do agree with you,” she said pulling a file folder from her desk and holding it out to him. “They’ve decided to give you another case to finish. It should start you on your way.”
           He got up and took it from her, avoiding her eyes. “I suppose I owe my thanks to Ariel for this.”
           He heard a slither behind his back at her frustration. “It was all their idea,” she walked up to him and whispered in his ear over his shoulder,  “I’ll specifically say to you I had no part in this.”
           There was a sharp buzzing and she slithered again in pain. He could see her tongue whip out in his peripheral vision before she went back to the desk. “We hope you’ll succeed,” she said stiffly and went back to her paperwork.
           He glanced at her and waited for a few moments of silence. After neither one of them had moved in quite some time, he grabbed his coat and went up the stairs to the dormitory. He laughed silently to himself as he realized that his assignment was only out of jealousy and succeed or not, he was in no danger of losing his job.

Help! I’m Drowning!

            It’s raining. The kind of rain that knocks you down with the pounding on your roof making everything so loud, you can’t hear yourself think. She sat down on the bed and tried furtively to read. She couldn’t comprehend the words and she threw the book down annoyed and faced her computer. He stomach growled lightly as the rain started to die away to a faint roar in the background. Still too loud to read, but at a better volume. Thunder cuts the background noise as a solo in this frightening orchestration. She’s annoyed with her stomach. Too much to do and too little time, now. That’s why I can’t update this week, but we’ll see how tomorrow goes.

Rosetta’s Garden

Originally published on December 21, 2005

Happy Winter Solstice! I personally love nature, and although I love Hanukah, I love wishing someone a happy solstice instead. Something about saying that is so magical to me. I took special care to get this written. I tried to describe it uniquely and did the best I could. Hope you enjoy.

           Satin flowers spread miles of fields like butter. Poppies sprang through lavender and buttercups. Sunflowers sat in the leaves as if they were meditating soaking in the sunrays. On the edge of the far field hibiscus grew alongside morning glories climbing up birch and maples. Carrots stuck their orange heads out of the ground and tomatoes slithered along the ground. Pumpkins sat lazily in the middle of a shady patch and strawberries reached for sunny spots on the ground. In the middle of the garden was a fountain filled with lucid water reflecting everything around it. On the western edge of the circular basin sat an elderly lady playing a harp. Her hair was lily-of-the-valley white and her skin was softly wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Her hands were nimble as they flew across the strings. Music caressed the plants in the garden as the sun slowly glided across the sky. When it go colder and the sky rosy, she got up and disappeared through the trees.
           Pilly was sitting in the maple tree opposite the woman all day and he yawned as he leaned back on his branch. I wonder he thought when Rosetta will play again. The moon faded into the sky as colors bid the sun farewell for the day. The stars came out and dotted the sky as Pilly fell asleep.

Passing Notes

Originally published on December 18, 2005

            Snow peppered the streets with a cotton coating. The street was full of black slush as horse drawn carriages trotted back and forth to the Southington’s House. The party was a bit of a bore for the child in the corner. She sat in her best clothes with Violet and Mourny pointing out the couples and making up stories about them. Elizabeth walked nervously with her mask in her hand towards the kitchen.
            “Lady Smith, what a pleasure to see you tonight.” A tall, but round man walked up to her and nodded his head cordially.
            “Ah, Colonel, what a pleasant surprise.” She managed a ladylike smile and nodded.
            “I trust you have seen William around.”
            She inwardly grimaced, but kept her smile up. “No,” she stuttered trying to get around him to get closer to the kitchen door, “I haven’t seen him lately. I’ll be sure to greet him before I leave.”
            “Splendid,” the Colonel said and walked towards the buffet table.
            Eyeing her surroundings, she slipped into the kitchen. Smells of hundreds of cookies, candied yams, and the holiday duck greeted her warmly before anyone else did.
            “M’lady,” Jack whispered as he walked up to her, “you have any news?”
            Jack was the Colonel’s second son, and a forgotten one at that. He had run away from the monkhood and was considered a disgrace with his family. The servants loved to have him around partly because he was such a good worker and mostly because of his charming personality. They had been friends longer than she could remember, but if anyone in the Colonel’s family knew she was talking with him, it would be a disgrace. Especially since, they were trying to match her up with William, the family’s oldest son.
            “Of, course.” She handed him a small red envelope with the insignia of a swan pressed into silver ink.
            Jack winked at her and stuck the envelope in his pocket. She smiled and slipped out of the kitchen. She managed to wander straight to where she had left Mourny, Violet, and the girl without running into William.
            “It took you long enough,” Mourny said disgruntled as he got off chair back the child was sitting on.
            “Lady Lizabeth! Look at that pretty lady over there, she looks like she’s a queen.”
            Elizabeth glanced over to the hostess, where the girl was pointing.
            “Euh, close enough.”
            Violet smiled and nodded at the child.
            “Let’s leave before William finds me. I shouldn’t like to have to endure subtle hints of marriage until next year, at least.”

Good and Bad

            Ester sat on the steps of the old library building and watched the workout center across the street. It was almost six o’clock and her stomach was growling with more intensity as the sun went down. Finally Jack walked out of the building in sweatpants and a tee shirt and waved at her. She stood up and walked down the steps.
            “Sorry I took so long,” he said taking her hand and swinging it gently as they walked.
            “That’s all right,” she lied sweetly. Things were starting to look up now, but she still had that sour taste in her mouth from something she couldn’t forgive. Ignoring her empty stomach she said, “I actually want to talk to you in private about something that’s been bothering me.”
            He nodded and when they came to St. Peter’s Church, he steered them into the cemetery behind it. The graveyard was twice as large as the gigantic chapel itself and held hundreds of various gravestones of several different shades of marble. Angels stood up as guardians holding their hands in solemn remembrance. She blushed at the fact that she was in the cemetery and recited what she wanted to say in her head. They walked over to a weatherworn silver bench under a tree and sat down. She stared at the gravestone in front of her.
            “Jack, I don’t think I can continue this relationship. Neither one of us is really happy and we’ve been stuck like this for way too long not wanting to hurt either one’s feelings.”
            “This is about Ally, isn’t it?”
            She paused and soaked up the silence. “No. Well, sure that’s what got me thinking, but I think it started before that. I don’t know. We have so much trouble getting together and it’s just not worth it. Every chance you get you have to go to work and whenever you’re not working, I’m at the theater. And if we do have free time, then we mostly have other plans with someone else,” she took a deep breath, but kept staring ahead at the gravestone in front of her, “I’m going to be honest and say that I don’t think this is worth it right now and I can’t have a solid relationship since I barely know you. I feel like you’re not there for me and you cannot commit. It’s just better if I keep looking.”
            She looked up at his stone cold expression and watched the light creep into small imperfections in his face. He looked up at the top of the steeple and sighed, but didn’t face her. “I get that feeling, too,” he said quietly.
            “I’m sorry,” she said and stood up. “Go get yourself something to eat,” she handed him a twenty-dollar bill, which she placed on the seat next to him. Having nothing else to say, she walked out of the graveyard and walked down the street.
            He sat staring at the gravestones ahead of him, numb. Then he picked up her twenty-dollar bill and walked towards the church. He tried the door and finding it locked slipped the money under the door and walked the opposite way down the street. His cell phone rang.
            “How’s it going?” his friend asked.
            “We broke up,” Jack said looking at the sky.
            “Oh, well. Life goes on.”
            Jack laughed at his friend’s nonchalant attitude. “You’re right. Besides,” he said turning the corner to where his car was parked, “I’ve got a dinner date with Ally.”