Lucid Waking

“Not much between despair and ecstasy”

Bonjour, Decembre!

Originally published on December 02, 2005

           She sighed and reluctantly handed him the car keys to their blue porche. She looked him up and down in his khaki shorts and black tee shirt and bit her lip. He held a neatly wrapped present under his arm and had his hand outstretched for the keys.
           “Don’t get reckless, ok. Keep it in one piece.”
           “Don’t worry, sis. How bad do you think I am? It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
           “I just can’t bear to see you hurt or in trouble.”
           He smiled in his perfect way as she placed the keys in his hand.
           “Oh and-“
           “Don’t stay out too long. I’ll be fine sis; I can take care of myself.”
           She watched him go out the door into the crisp frozen air. She smiled to herself as she watched him close the door and drive away. She shook her head as put on her coat and headed outside to their second car. Her sister ran out the door in her slippers as she grasped a coat around her frail frame. Her hair was in messy tendrils flying from her head as she ran to the car.
           “November, don’t be so hard on him,” she said. “You know December is strong, he’ll be safe. Promise me you won’t go after him.”
           “Don’t worry, October. I’m just going to the store to buy some eggs. We seem to be out of them, again.”

Sullen Memories with the Moon

Originally published on November 28, 2006

           
The moon was as bright as the smoky sunlight and cast pastel shadows on the sand. The water was a charcoal gray and crawled up the shore with foamy arms. It was the tenth anniversary of that day, and I had gone through with my tradition of avoiding myself then. Memories do have a way to catch up to a running soul, and my thoughts were polluted by the sight of his blood on the sidewalk. No matter how loud I put my music or how hard I focused on my schoolwork, I couldn’t get the face of his ghost out of my actions. I directed tear-glazed eyes toward the silver moon and spackled night sky. Before I had always thought there was nothing I wouldn’t give to change everything that happened, but now, I’m not so sure. I’ve become stronger and wiser because of my loss and I’m not so sure it would have been better if he had stayed alive. But who am I to talk? I can’t control time and I can’t take it back.